14 Terrible Ways to Dump Your Girlfriend
ⁿᵃᵗᵃˡ.ᶦⁿᵈᶦᵛᶦᵈᵘᵃˡᵒᵍᶦˢᵗ.ᶜᵒᵐ
ɪɴᴅɪᴠɪᴅᴜᴀʟᴏɢɪꜱᴛ ɴᴀᴛᴀʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴛ
ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀꜱᴛʀᴏʟᴏɢʏ ᴄʜᴀʀᴛ ʀᴇᴠᴇᴀʟꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇꜱᴛɪɴʏ...
ᴀ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙɪʀᴛʜ ᴄʜᴀʀᴛ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ꜱᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇᴍᴀɪʟ ᴀᴅᴅʀᴇꜱꜱ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ᴀɴ ᴇᴍᴀɪʟ ᴀᴅᴅʀᴇꜱꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴠᴇʟʏ ᴜꜱᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ʙɪʀᴛʜ ᴄʜᴀʀᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ.
ʳᵉᶜᵉᶦᵛᵉ ᶠʳᵉᵉ ᵍᵘᶦᵈᵃⁿᶜᵉ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ᵒᵘʳ ᵈᵃᶦˡʸ ʰᵒʳᵒˢᶜᵒᵖᵉ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦⁿᵍ. ᵈᶦˢᶜᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵃᶜᶜᵘʳᵃᵗᵉ ᵖʳᵉᵈᶦᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿˢ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵘᵗᵘʳᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵈᵃᶦˡʸ ʰᵒʳᵒˢᶜᵒᵖᵉˢ!
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Ever had to break up with your girlfriend? We here at Booze Lightyear sure have. In fact, we just found ourselves breaking up with your girlfriend last week. What a mess! She was sobbing and begging us to stay and stuff. It was awful. We’ll make sure to never date your girlfriend again; that way we can avoid having to dump her again. Also, she farts in her sleep. True story.
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