My Weird Trip to the UK
>> I’ve been traveling a lot lately and it’s been really dope! And I know I’ve done a couple travel related videos already, but when you talk about your life and all that’s been going on in your life in travel stuff then, ehhh… (Jaiden noise) Sorry, but that’s just what’s on the menu right now. I’m like a fine dining, fancy, video-making chef. I only serve what’s ripe and in season. Quality stuff, only the finest. Just for you. -3- With that being said… sO i PeEd On My WaLLEt– (wait wut) I was visiting my friends in the UK for new years and we were spending the weekend in London to do some fun stuff together. During the day, we did a bunch of fun tourist-y stuff like the London Dungeon, Shrek’s Adventure, rode in a helicopter… Alright, that’s a lie. Shrek’s Adventure wasn’t that fun. We were in line for like an hour, and the actual thing was more childish than we thought. He didn’t even fly out the window like in that one video. (If you know what this is, you’re not innocent) Anyway, we were back in the hotel about to go out and get dinner when I realized my wallet wasn’t in my pocket.
I thought I left it in my backpack or something, but a quick rummage around confirmed that- “Guys…” “… I have indeed lost my wallet.” They were understandably freaked out. Like, out of all the things you can lose in a foreign country a wallet is pretty up there on the “Not Good Chart”. (whys virginity up there??) It could’ve fallen out of my pocket at any point of the day, and we’d literally been all over London. Here’s the thing, I don’t like bags or purses because I think they’re too much of a hassle to carry around, and I don’t like the feeling of minor inconveniences because I’m a baby. (Jaiden is babey confirmed) So a couple months ago, I got a new slim wallet that can fit in my tiny woman jean pockets.
That was super great! 😀 But I realized pretty early on that it slips out of my back pocket really easily when I sit down and stand up, because of the aforementioned Tiny Woman Jean Pockets™ But for SOME reason, I still think drastically increasing the risk of losing all my credit cards and identity is still less convenient than carrying a bag. -_- Either way, what I’m trying to get at is that… All day, I was constantly checking my wallet was in my pocket because I knew it can fall out easily and get lost And I was doing a great job! 😀 Until it fell out and got lost. D; (lol) (cue Curb Your Enthusiasm end credits) My friends were more freaked out than I was. I think my brain’s at a point where it’s tired of using extra energy to be overly-anxious because of the dumb crap I pull, so I was pretty calm. Or maybe I’m incapable of feeling anything anymore…
WAKE ME UP (WAKE ME UP INSIDE) I retraced my steps in my head and concluded that I most likely lost it at Shrek’s Adventure. I remember having it at breakfast and in the helicopter, but MAYBE not in Shrek’s swamp. WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. IN. MY. SWAMP. My friend sent an email to Shrek’s Adventure, because for some reason, they don’t take calls, and we were gonna have to wait until the next day to hear back from them because they were closed by then. Back-up plan was that if it wasn’t there, and I didn’t find it before then, I just have to cancel my cards and get new ones. And I wouldn’t be able to leave the country. ._. So we headed out for dinner, it was really nice, especially since I didn’t have to pay, ( ´∀｀) and got back to the hotel a few hours later.
The stress about losing the wallet was pretty died down because there wasn’t much we can do other than wait for Shrek to contact us. We turned on a movie, and I went into the bathroom, and when I lifted up the seat… WHAT THE CRAP?! HOW WAS THIS PULLED?! WHAT THE FU– (JAIDEN BAD WORD) “Guys! Oh my God! The wallet was in the toilet the WHOLE TIME!!” At first it was like, “What the heck happened? How did my wallet get in the frickin’ toilet?” But after a little bit of thinking, with all the puzzle pieces, I think I know exactly what happened. Right before we were going to dinner I went to the bathroom. And while I was… preparing to use the bathroom, my wallet must’ve fallen out and into the toilet. And I didn’t notice because I don’t check the toilet after I use it! Maybe you’re supposed to, I don’t know. I don’t know what’s normal. (neither do I) Nothing’s normal about this situation! So after I leave, that’s when I realize my wallet’s gone and when looking around the room obviously my mind doesn’t go to checking the toilet…
So we e-mailed Shrek. (smart jaiden :D) “Shrek, you never gonna believe where we found it!” But nope, it was sitting right here in the toilet. I actually was good at keeping track of my things. I didn’t lose it at Shrek. Here it is! I totally peed on it… That’s how I peed on my wallet. No, I didn’t get a new one. I still have it. I don’t know, I mean, it’s a good wallet, I, I still like it. It just had pee on it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ dont pull that crap again… So that’s that story. Going back in time a bit when I landed in the UK… Pre-pee wallet P.P. for short I was waiting in line to got through customs when this guy bumps me from behind I was standing still and the line wasn’t moving, so it’s kinda weird that happened But it was immediately like “Oh man, sorry ’bout that!” So I told him it was alright.
He bumped me in a way that he ended up a little in front of me, so he goes “Well, you were in line first,” and then gestured that I reclaimed my spot, and I was like “Oh, thanks,” and stepped forward. But he didn’t step back, so now we were standing next to each other, which felt weird. Then he started trying to make some small talk. “What’s your name?” “Jaiden…” “Nice.” *brofist at a hundred mil* “So what brings you to the UK?” “Oh, heh, just visiting friends.” “Oh, that’s actually really nice of you! I didn’t expect such generosity since all girls are selfish.” (HOL UP) uuuuuhhhhhh RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN??!! EXCUSE ME??!! The two guys in front of us kinda glanced back like, ‘woah…
That was a bit of a yikes!’ I mean, I’m no conversational genius, but no matter what you believe, I think that’s a bit too strong of an opener right there. “Oh.. (chuckles) I mean not ALL of them are!” “No, they are. You can just say that because you’re a girl.” wEll alriGht then! I guess I have nothing else to say really! I gave him a nervous laugh, and left it at that. -awkward silence- “Man, no one here has a UK passport!” Alright, my dude, I’m getting the hint you want to chit-chat more, but you’re all over the place with this conversation here. When you open with, “all girls are selfish,” that’s a PRETTY isolating stance to take at a gorl! I don’t think you’ve got enough social skill points to bring this one back, man.
Also, uhh, yEaH! This is the non-uk passport line! THEY DID THAT ON PURPOSE, ya gOOber! I said that to him. I was like, “Yeah, this is the non-uk passport line,” and he just goes, “oH yEah!” “They DID do that.” (chuckles) and then fist-bumps me again. (how much more brofists coming?) I’m feeling really uncomfortable at this point. I thought it was weird he bumped me when the line wasn’t moving, I thought it was weird he manipulated the situation so I’d stand next to him, I thought it was weird he hates women.
(also stop FiSt bUmPiNg me) I didn’t feel unsafe or anything, because I mean, customs at the airport is probably one of the safest and most security guarded places you can be in, and there are plenty of people around. (duh) But he’s still a tall scraggy weirdo in a hoodie with cRaZy in his eyes. It got quiet again because I wasn’t really my hardest to keep up a conversation, and after a while… … “So many people have iPhones, whats the deal with that?” “Yeah, it’s a p-pretty big brand. Do you have an android or something?” “Nah, I’m not a materialistic kind of guy.” “Oh, heh, * b r e a t h s * ..ok.” Judging by the response I was like, “I guess he doesn’t have a phone then.” Not a minute passes and he takes out is like, Google ph- or Windows Phone or something. sOuJa bOi pHonE! Dude what? Who are you?? WHat is goIng on??? WHY ARE YOU SO WEIRD??!! You’re like the airport customs line’s riddle master!!! “ANSWER ME THESE QUESTIONS THREE AND YOU MAY RECLAIM THE SPOT TAKEN BY MEEEEEEEE!” o_o “So what’s the deal with women, phones, and minorities?” Then he started going off on asking about my friends, “What are your friends like? Have you even known them for a long time? I bet they don’t visit you.” im gonna have to stop you right there…
“Ok, you know what, I’m just gonna go to the back of the line. >:C” It’s like he was jealous of my friends that wo- they were friends with me, but also like, I thought you hated girls. Which is what I am. “You do know I’m a girl right? Does this guy know what a girl is?” Finally when it was my turn to go up, he was like, “Well it was nice meeting you Jaiden! You’re pretty nice!” “(chuckles) yeah thanks. aLso sthap fist bhumping me” “And also a nerd.” “HEY! I- oh right that one’s pretty accurate.” Anyways, I hope I never see you again.” I didn’t actually say out loud to him that I never wanted to see him again, but I thunk it! Also, I have some things to tell you about! Besides the fact I have Invisalign in and I sound very lispy, James, Me, Domics, Ross, and Arin are going on tour with our Scribble Showdown show! (laughs) “showdown show” We did our first tester show in April, and it was so much fun, and we laughed, and had such a great time during it, and it was really well received, so we were like, “Yes, we want to do more in other places!” It will be October 1st through the 9th, and we’re going to Boston, Brooklyn, Austin, San Francisco, Seattle, and Portland.
You can get tickets and more details in the description. I’m also going to VidCon! Oh, and we’re also doing the Scribble Showdown during VidCon, too on July 13th, so I hope to see some of you there, and lastly, I’m going to summer in the city in London in August. It’s a bunch of stuff, and it’s going to be a lot, but also a lot of fun! (yay) Alright, I think that’s all for now, my laundry machine is running right now so I don’t know if you can hear that. I’m trying to shrink some shirts. They’re for men, but I thought they looked cool so I bought them for me. Ok, talk to you later, bye! .
As found on Youtube
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